As a fitness and personal development coach, confidence is a topic that comes up in my work pretty often. How do you cultivate it? Why do some people seem so much more confident than others? What is it that confident people have that those who lack confidence don’t?

The way I see it, confidence is a two part choice: it’s the constant acknowledgment that you absolutely cannot control what anyone else thinks of you, so there’s really no reason to show up as anything other than your authentic, confident self.

The second part of is choosing not to give a damn what anyone thinks of you. It’s validating yourself by believing that you’re dope as hell and worthy of love, connection, success, and belonging—completely independent of anyone else’s opinions or standards.

Confidence is not about external validation or people pleasing. It’s not about trying to fit into a box that wasn’t made for you or conform to a standard that doesn’t apply to you. It’s having the courage to see both your light and your darkness, your superpowers and your flaws, and own them without apology.

Some people will love you. Some people will hate you. None of that is about you nor is it up to you. Confidence isn’t something we gain by trying to be likable—it’s a quality we ooze when we stop caring if other people like us and choose to focus on liking ourselves instead.

Rather than waste your limited time on this earth worrying about whether or not other people like you, choose to validate your damn self. Deem yourself worthy of all the magic in the world. Sit on your own throne. Adorn your own head with the crown of dopeness—because that’s where true confidence is born.

Now go ahead, take 5 deep breaths—with each breath inhale some Queen Shit and exhale the external chatter that literally has nothing to do with you. Slather some goddess energy all over your damn self and walk out into the world as your confident, authentic, extraordinary self.

Hope that helps and enjoy,


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